The spaz in action

I have a tendency to get myself into some pretty ridiculous situations. I swear to you, I am a magnet for trouble. I really do try hard to pretend to be normal, but I am finally coming to terms with it. I mean, It's better to put myself out there and be considered ridiculous than not experience life, right?


So I've had a number of mishaps within the past week and a half. and I figured that I would just clump them all together for one big mishap bonanza.


Last week Liz, Franca and I headed back into the vineyards around four to do some last minute sampling. We had two plots to sample, and were on the last one. When we were about four feet away from finishing, some sort of freak hybrid bug launched onto my forearm. The shouts that came out of my mouth were completely involuntary. All I know is there were about three of them, and I think the entire town looked around to see what catastrophy had taken place.


I was in such shock when this bug decided to say hello that I kindof blacked out and can't quite remember exactly what he looked like. The best desciption is a tarantula mixed with a grasshopper. The body was about two inches in length and it's ars spanned the entirety of my forearm. It took me a little under an hour to recover, however now Liz lives in a constant state of fear that something similar will jump on her, or that I will scream again like I did that afternoon.


The next spaz actually occured this very morning. Franca had dropped Liz and I among some Borolo vines for sampling. She had to run back to the winery to take car of some 911 situation. We were having a grand ole time; taking care to clip an impressive collection of grapes for the sampling. When we clip individual grapes, we collect them all in desposable rectangular alluminum lasagne tray.

We were on a particularly steep plot, and in order to step down to the next row, we had to step down about a foot in between the rows. Liz stepped down with easy and started clipping right away. I on the other hand didn't fare quite as well. I think I put too much pressure on the back of my right foot, and I slid down the entire slope, landing in what Liz described as a "lounging position". They tray of grapes FLEW straight up on the air, and time seemed to come to a standstill. Liz and I both turned our heads to the tray, and watched it fall approximately five seconds after I was in a fully seated position. I've never experience a moment of slow motion quite like this one. It landed flat on the ground, and more than 200 carefully chosen grapes bounced into the air, and into the long grass below.

All I can say is thank goodness liz the same appreciation for unfortunate/hilarious moments such as these.